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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240040">Heaven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm1986/pseuds/Bookworm1986'>Bookworm1986</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:08:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm1986/pseuds/Bookworm1986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has made it to the big party waiting for him in heaven, but where’s Cas?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam and Dean got in the car and drove back over the bridge Dean had driven up to. They were back together. Dean didn’t want him to arrive too soon, but he couldn’t deny that he really wanted to meet little Dean, and catch up with Eileen. He wanted to know everything he had missed over the past 40years.</p><p>But for now they were going to see their family. </p><p> They pulled up to the roadhouse. It was evident that there was a party in full swing inside.</p><p>Dean pushed open the front door, Sam close behind him. Silence fell. </p><p>Then a great cheer rose up and they were mobbed. The bar was deceptively sized. Inside were all their friends and family, but also every single person they had ever saved personally. There were hundreds of people. All waiting for the Winchester brothers.</p><p>Sam grabbed Bobby in a giant bear hug. Dean grasped Charlie and Kevin in a double hug with tears in his eyes. Jo, Ellen, Ash and Rufus soon followed.</p><p>A path cleared. Their parents slowly made their way through the crowd. John Winchester the young man Dean remembered from all those years ago, before he knew about demons and monsters, happy. He surged forwards and grabbed both boys. ‘I’m so proud of you both, and I’m so sorry.’ Mary joined them and the four of them stood there quietly, savouring being together again.</p><p>Soon, the teary hugs had turned into back slapping congratulations and the party started back up. Soon tequila shots were doing the rounds. Sam and Dean made their way round the bar. They were near the back when the door opened again.</p><p>Dean turned quickly, searching out the newcomer. A huge smile spread across his face. He grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him towards the door. When Sam turned, he started running. He picked his wife up and spun her around. ‘How long?’ ‘Ten years.’ Eileen signed. Sam buried his face in her hair and pulled her close. </p><p>Dean waited for them to finish and stopped in for his own hug. Sam introduced her to his parents who, through the magic of heaven, were able to sign fluently. Dean watched their interactions with only a minor pang of jealousy. </p><p>A thought occurred to him. ‘Sammy, your Dean, is he..?’ God he was so insensitive. He shouldn’t ask!</p><p>Sam knew what he was trying to say. ‘Deaf? No, but he worked as a translator, a respectable job, unlike his namesake’.</p><p>‘Hey, he could have had a worse role model. I did kill hitler!’ Sam rolled his eyes. Several people commandeered Dean after that, wanting the full story.</p><p>As the day wore on the party eventually dwindled. In the new heaven everyone had a home of their choosing with their loved ones or close to as they wished. Most of Sam and Dean’s friends were only a short walk from the bar. </p><p>Sam and Eileen left with John and Mary, to go and stay with them so they could get to know their daughter in law. Dean stayed behind sitting at the bar with Bobby, filling him in on everything he had missed. </p><p>Dean was starting to feel more content. But, he couldn’t help but dwell on the people who were missing today.</p><p>‘I can hear you thinking all the way over here, boy, what’s up?’</p><p>‘Does Jack ever stop by?’ Ponders Dean, not sure how to ask his real question.</p><p>‘Yeah of course he does, his mom does too. I’m sure they’ll be by in the next few days to say hello.’</p><p>Dean smiled into his beer, looking forward to seeing Jack and Kelly.</p><p>But that’s not who you really want to see, is it?’ Bobby finished his whisky and poured another shot for them both, staying silent, waiting for Dean. </p><p>Dean nursed his shot of whiskey, twirling it round on the bar.</p><p>‘Come on, Dean, spit it out.’</p><p>‘Does Cas...? Why isn’t he here? Do you see him much?’</p><p>‘I see him most of all. He likes to come by and sit on the porch and hear about you and Sam as kids. We talk about the apocalypse and Jack. The angels, and god. It’s heavy stuff.’ Bobby gives Dean a sideways glance, ‘but you are his favourite topic of conversation.’</p><p>Dean hides a satisfied smile. ‘He’ll be here.’ Bobby claps his hand on Dean’s shoulder reassuringly.</p><p>The bar is empty aside from the two of them. Dean gets up to hit the head before getting going. That thought gives him pause. Where is he going to go? He can crash with Bobby he supposes. But after that...? </p><p>He’s used to having no home. He spent his childhood bouncing around, and most of his adulthood. It’s only been recently he’s felt settled. The bunker became his home. Would there be a bunker here? There’s a roadhouse, so logic would mean it likely. He’ll ask Bobby. </p><p>He’s washing his hands when the lights start to flicker. What? There aren’t supposed to be ghosts or demons here. Then the roof starts to shake. Oh. He forgot about angels. What do the dicks want now.</p><p>He opens the door to the bathroom. The front door to the bar flies open with a gust of wind. Thunder cracks and lightning strikes the roof. Everything is shaking now.</p><p>He’s waiting for the big guns to come and show him his place. He’ll show them. A passing thought occurred to him that he thought Jack would have dealt with them by now. He will have a word tomorrow. </p><p>Through the open door strides the most beautiful woman Dean has ever seen, fury written all over her face.</p><p>Dean walks round the bar. He’s ready for her to do her worst. Her head snaps towards him, eyes blazing. She strides over and grabs him by the shirt, lifting him clear off the floor.</p><p>Dean’s mouth is agape. He has no idea what’s happening, he’s powerless, completely unable to fight her. He’s getting an odd sense of deja vu. </p><p>‘What are you doing here?’</p><p>Dean glares back, he’s not sure what she’s talking about but won’t give her the satisfaction of asking.</p><p>‘Why did you not fight to live? Out of all the options in all the death’s books, and you chose that one?’</p><p>She stares at Dean, tilting her head in a maddeningly familiar fashion.</p><p>Bobby turns back to the bar, ‘Told you so’ he mutters.</p><p>‘Cas...?’ Dean whispers, the sound falling out of his mouth in disbelief.</p><p>‘Oh yeah’ starts Bobby, ‘I knew I was forgetting something.’ With a smirk he gets up and leaves the bar.</p><p>Dean stares back at Castiel, speechless for the first time in a long time.</p><p>‘Tell me, Dean. Was my life that worthless to you? Did my death mean that little, that just a few weeks after I sacrificed myself to save you, you give up?’</p><p>‘Cas, I..’</p><p>‘No Dean, don’t bother. I understand perfectly.’ </p><p>The steel blue softened a little, ‘I just came to make sure you were ok.’</p><p>Without warning, Cas dropped him in a heap on the floor and started to walk away.</p><p>‘No, Cas, you’ve got it wrong.’</p><p>Piercing blue eyes met green. ‘Elaborate.’</p><p>‘I, it’s not like that, it’s, I just, I was done but, Sam he needed to carry on, and I just couldn’t, but ...’ tears sprang to his eyes.</p><p>‘Look, man, it’s hard to talk to you, you know’ he gestures up and down.</p><p>Castiel looks down, ‘Is there.. is there something wrong? I thought you would find it easier to speak to me like this?’</p><p>‘Easier?’ Dean croaks.</p><p>‘Yes, I don’t want you to feel awkward.’ The abrupt change in Cas’ tone was jarring.</p><p>Dean closes his eyes, remembering Castiel’s last words to him. Letting the pain wash over him.</p><p>He walked over and grabbed the angel in a tight hug. Castiel’s hands hesitating, came up and hugged him back. They stood close like that for a second.</p><p>‘I love you too.’ Came softly from Dean’s lips. ‘That’s why. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I tried living without you. I can’t.’</p><p>He pulled away. Tears in both their eyes. ‘Oh, I see.’ Cas looked away. Neither was able to look at the other for a moment. Dean pulled away, took a final swig of his beer from the bar, before turning back to face Cas.</p><p>‘This is, well, who is it?’ Dean questioned.</p><p>Cas gave a small smile. ‘This is not a vessel Dean. I made it. I thought it might please you.’ Dean’s jaw dropped open.</p><p>‘I never hoped for you to return my love, but I thought you would feel less perturbed by what I said if it was a female who said it.’</p><p>Dean didn’t know what to say. Cas was right. He would feel like that normally. But Cas wasn’t, no, isn’t a man. Cas is an angel. And Cas is the person he loves. </p><p>And he doesn’t recognise him.</p><p>The mannerisms are there and he can see it’s Cas in his eyes, but it’s not quite right. </p><p>He starts pacing, Cas shifts awkwardly. There’s silence for a few moments.</p><p>‘She, I mean you, are gorgeous. It’s an incredible creation. How did you know what I would like?’</p><p>‘Well Dean, I like to think I know you pretty well. Was I right?’</p><p>Dean licks his lips slowly, bringing his hand up to his mouth. ‘I mean yeah, you did alright, I suppose.’ He smirked, admiring the view.</p><p>‘It’s part of the wider reforms that Jack and I introduced. Everyone can see their loved ones as they choose to remember  them best. So you might see Sam as you last saw him, but his son, when he gets here, will see him as an older man, the father he remembers. I just manipulated that slightly.’</p><p>Dean stops pacing and turns around. ‘So if you turn,’ pointing at Cas, ‘this off, you’ll look like the Cas I remember again?’</p><p>‘Well, now you have seen this version of me this may stay as your preferred way of remembering me.’ Cas responded, cheeks reddening slightly.</p><p>Dean was closer now. They were in one another’s personal space. </p><p>Dean reached over and took Cas’ hand. With the other hand he tilted up Cas’ chin so their eyes met. Dean took a long look at Cas then closed his eyes.</p><p>‘Turn off the mojo.’ He kept both Cas’ hands clasped in his.</p><p>‘Are you sure? It might not work and then I’ll be back to, ummm...’</p><p>‘Turn it off Cas, it will be fine.’</p><p>Dean felt the air around him shift, almost imperceptibly. ‘Is it done?’</p><p>‘Yes, Dean.’</p><p>He opened his eyes. ‘Did it work?’ Cas enquired with a worried expression. </p><p>Dean smiles back, ‘Yes it did.’ </p><p>He moves closer, grabbing the blue tie which was perennially backwards and ran his hands through Cas’ short, black, windswept hair. ‘But ...’ Cas stuttered, realising what happened.</p><p>‘I fell in love with you like this, it’s how I remember you, it’s how I want to see you, always.’</p><p>They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, before Dean realised where they were.</p><p>‘Do you know where Bobby’s house is? I need to crash.’</p><p>Cas looked at him quizzically, ‘Yes of course, I can take you to Bobby’s, but would you rather not go home?’</p><p>‘Home? There’s somewhere for me, here?’</p><p>‘There’s somewhere for everyone.’</p><p>‘Well, hell yeah, is it the bunker?’ </p><p>‘Hold on Dean, you can see for yourself.’ Cas put his fingers to Dean’s forehead and in a blink they were stood outside of a log cabin on the edge of a lake.</p><p>Dean looked around. ‘Well this isn’t the bunker. Is this... no it can’t be.’ He started to run his hands through his hair anxiously.</p><p>‘What is it Dean?’</p><p>Dean turned to face Cas. ‘Whose house is this? I can’t stay here.’</p><p>In a small voice Cas murmured - ‘It’s mine. I thought it could be ours.’</p><p>Dean looked around, suddenly he understood. This was the place of peace and calm Cas had chosen before.It made sense now.</p><p>‘Cas, all I can see when I look around, is a place where you died.’ </p><p>He looked at Cas, ‘I can’t stay here.’</p><p>Cas turned around and slowly the scene changed. A forest floor replacing the lake, trees replacing mountains, the wood of the cabin changing. Dean didn’t recognise their new location.</p><p>‘Where are we?’</p><p>‘This is a memory of Jimmy’s, somewhere he and his wife went, long before I came along. They were happy here. In love. I thought I would borrow it for us. Is this no good? I can change it again.’</p><p>Silently, Dean climbed the steps to the door. Inside the cabin was a small, but clean and functional living room and kitchen. Stairs wound up to two loft rooms and a bathroom. He ran his hands over the stove, tried some of the cupboards, felt the stair rail.</p><p>‘We’ll need a new refrigerator, that one has seen better days. And I can fix that loose step. Maybe paint outside.’<br/>
He peered through the window, ‘Is that a double garage?’</p><p>‘Your car is already inside. There’s an inspection pit and all your tools too.’</p><p>Dean turned around and beamed. Then coughed, looking embarrassed, ‘It will do for me, do you like it?’</p><p>‘You know I will follow wherever you go Dean.’</p><p>Dean shifted back and forth, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. ‘But do you like it? What do you want?’</p><p>Cas looked around. ‘Maybe some bee hives?’</p><p>Dean snorted with laughter.</p><p>‘Knock yourself out man. Just keep them away from me! Will that make you happy?’</p><p>With a smile Cas turned back, ‘You make me happy Dean.’</p>
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